Every sixty seconds you spend upset,
is a minute of happiness you’ll
never get back…
Today’s Message of the Day is:
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile. Â
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge
heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the
service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled
inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all
eyes
stared at him, he said, “I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral……..I’m a gynecologist.”
The proctologist fainted.
A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.
The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull’s shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he’s become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
Customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of chips because they think it’s so funny.
